Heart's Truth
by Mizvoy
Summary: A small gift turns out to have a big impact on Janeway and Chakotay's future. JC


Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager, Janeway, and Chakotay. The Heart's Truth, however, is mine!

Summary: A small gift turns out to have a big impact on Janeway and Chakotay's future.

Note: The first part of the story takes place just after "One Small Step" and just before "The Voyager Conspiracy" in season six. Using the stardate converter, I was able to determine that Janeway's kidnapping that was referred to by the "Endgame's" insane Tuvok occurred at this point of the series. The second part of the story, starting with the ready room scene between Kathryn and Phoebe Janeway, occurs a few days after "Endgame."

Written for Keanna in VAMB's 2005 "Secret Spook" gift exchange.

Heart's Truth

by mizvoy

Just after "One Small Step" and before "The Voyager Conspiracy"

Voyager's Ready Room

"What is this thing?" Chakotay stared down at the smooth black disc that lay on Captain Janeway's desk. Like a pool of ink framed with a woven silver band, it contained a perfect reflection of his eyes, but no other feature of his face. "Is it liquid?"

"No, although it has some of liquid's reflective qualities." Janeway put down her mug of coffee and picked up the delicate artifact, a peace offering from the Kellidians for their inadvertent kidnapping of her the previous week. "They call it the 'Heart's Truth.' The ambassador told me that it is a truth detector, or some such thing."

"I've heard it said that the eyes are the windows of the soul, but I'm not so sure about the heart." Chakotay watched as she studied the disc. "What do you see when you look at it?"

"I see my eyes. Maybe I can use it as a mirror to put on my eye makeup each day." She gave him a grin as she placed it back on her desk. "Did you see something?"

"I saw my eyes, too."

"That's odd, because neither Tuvok nor Neelix saw anything in it, not even their eyes."

"You said the Kellidians made it just for you. Maybe they can't see it because they aren't human."

"Maybe so."

He smiled as he picked up the disc and looked at it close up, noticing something like a glow in his eyes' reflection, as if the spark of his soul was somehow reproduced there. "Whether they reveal the soul or the heart, the eyes are considered the 'window' to a person's true character or conscience."

"I know my mother believes that. I can remember when I'd try to get something past her, she'd put her hand under my chin and very deliberately raise my face until she could look me in the eye, and then she'd say, 'Answer my question again, Katie.' Well, needless to say, I found that it was impossible to lie to her when she was looking me right in the eye."

He gave her a dimpled grin. "Kathryn, shame on you. Lying to your mother."

"What? You never tried to get out of distasteful chores? It usually had something to do with a relatively minor infraction, like failing to wash my hands before dinner or not bothering to turn my clothes right side out before putting them in the hamper."

"Something minor? If you expect to be faithful to the truth, you have to be faithful about the small things as well as the big things."

"Were you eavesdropping on my mother?" She laughed and shook her head. "That belief is from the Bible, Chakotay. I didn't know you'd read it."

"Christian philosophy deeply influenced my people when the Conquistadores came to Central America, and facets of their religion still persist in our teachings today. There's nothing incorrect with accepting what is truth, whatever its source."

"My Aunt Martha would just love talking to you. She has a PhD in comparative philosophy." Janeway turned to her computer terminal and tapped in a few commands. A page appeared and she read to him. "Here's the quote: 'Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones. If you cheat even a little, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities.'"

"I guess that goes along with the proverb 'practice makes perfect.'" He looked at the disc again, his face thoughtful. "But with this, I look into my own eyes, just as your mother looked into yours. Maybe it offers some kind of 'self-check'?" He looked up at her. "The worst lie, after all, is the one you tell yourself."

Before Janeway could respond, she was informed that Seven of Nine was on her way to the ready room with a report on some strange readings she'd picked up while examining the catapult that they had come across the previous day, something about a tetryon reactor that might have survived the explosion of the Caretaker's array.

Chakotay placed the disc on the desk as the door chime rang, and the captain quickly slid it into a drawer where it remained, unnoticed and forgotten, for many long months.

* * *

Following "Endgame," some 18 months later 

Voyager's Ready Room

"This chair doesn't tilt back far enough, Kath."

"You aren't supposed to be leaning back in that chair, Phoebes. Captains don't lounge around like that while they're in their ready rooms." Kathryn wrapped paper around one of the mugs to her coffee service and put it in a box. Standing on the upper tier of the ready room, she grinned as her younger sister, Phoebe, attempted to find a comfortable way to prop her feet on the desk.

Phoebe glanced up with a grimace. "Oh, give me a break. Are you telling me that in seven years you never once leaned back and put your feet up?"

"That's right." Kathryn put her hands at the small of her back and leaned backward to stretch her aching muscles. "I tried, but the chair didn't recline far enough."

"I knew it." Phoebe grinned at her and then sat upright, leaning her arms on the desktop. "I would've had the engineer up here in a heartbeat to fix it. I mean, you were the captain, right?"

"The engineer had more important things to do than fiddle with a desk chair. Like most captains, I learned to live with the limitations of the job."

"Yuck. Reason number eighty-seven not to be a captain." Pheobe took a final swig of her cold coffee and scowled. "Are you almost finished?"

"This is it. I really tried to avoid picking up too many useless mementoes in the Delta Quadrant, but five boxes in this office alone? I feel like a pack rat."

"You were out there for seven years, for heaven's sake. And it's not like you can go back and get something you forgot, that's for sure." Phoebe posed at the desk, trying to imagine how it would be to sit there day after day hearing reports and barking out orders, as only a Starfleet captain would do, for seven years running. She found the thought of it nauseating and, after a moment, slumped in the chair and began to look through the empty desk. Something in the back of the top left drawer caught her eye. "What's this, Kath? An ink spot?"

"Ink?" Kathryn put another mug in the box. "Not much ink on a starship, Phoebs."

Phoebe slid the object to the front of the drawer and lifted it. "Could it be an incredibly thin slice of onyx? With a silver border?"

"Let me see that." Kathryn stepped down to the lower level and took the object from her sister's hand. "The Kellidians gave me this. I always wondered what had happened to it."

"It was in the back of this drawer."

"I must have put it there in a hurry and simply forgot what I'd done with it."

"No wonder. It can't be much thicker than a sheet of paper. The Kellidians?"

Kathryn shrugged. "It doesn't matter. They're just a Delta Quadrant species that accidentally kidnapped me and gave me this as an apology."

"They 'accidentally' kidnapped you?" Phoebe snorted. "Give me a break."

"First contacts often include something unusual like that. The Kellidians consider the ship's captain to be the only person they should talk to during the opening of any new relationship. So they whisked me off to a mountain retreat for two days. I was entertained at a spa that you would not believe. I literally wallowed in luxury while Tuvok was having kittens wondering where I'd gone."

"And Chakotay?" She waggled her eyebrows at her older sister. "Was he distraught, too?"

Kathryn narrowed her eyes. "If you don't shut up about Chakotay, Phoebs, I'm going to have to throttle you."

"You know you're attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? You're just fooling yourself when you deny it."

"He was my first officer, strictly taboo, and now he's otherwise involved with Seven of Nine. And, yes, I imagine Chakotay was worried about me, too."

Phoebe just laughed and gave her a wink. "Why didn't they just scan the surface for you?"

"I'm sure they thought of that, Phoebes. The Kellidian transporters are nearly impossible to trace and they shielded the spa from sensors. If that wasn't bad enough, during that two-day welcoming period, they refuse to communicate with the anyone else from the ship." She smiled, her eyes twinkling at the memory. "When I beamed back from my two days of indulgence and everyone realized I was in perfect condition, I could tell that Tuvok really wanted to chew me out for scaring him so badly, but that would require an admission of emotional distress. I told him that I thought the Kellidians had informed them of my whereabouts, but he was still furious with me." She sighed, her eyes sad. "It wasn't until much later that I found out that his illness was already disturbing his emotional control."

"So these Kellerites wined and dined you for two days and then gave you a wafer thin piece of this black stuff to make up for your crew's distress? What did you say? 'Thanks for the coaster'?"

Kathryn chuckled. "They were Kellidians, not Kellerites. And this coaster, as you call it, is apparently some kind of magical item called the 'Heart's Truth' that was made especially for my personal use."

"Like some kind of heart monitor? I couldn't see a damn thing in it." She held it sideways to emphasize how incredibly thin it was. "It's striking in a very minimalist sort of way."

"That's strange, really. I'll just wrap it up and put it in with the coffee service," Kathryn said, taking the disc from her hand and stepping back to the upper level, pausing to look at her own eyes in the black surface. "I wonder why you can't see your eyes in it. I see mine."

"No doubt it was especially made for you."

Kathryn shrugged. "Why don't you call Mom and tell her we'll be along in about twenty minutes."

"Gladly. This chair makes my back hurt."

Kathryn shook her head as she went back to work. "You get used to it."

Phoebe groaned and laid her head on the desk. "If you say so."

* * *

The following day 

Starfleet Headquarters

The building was nearly deserted when Chakotay arrived on Sunday afternoon to tour his new office at Starfleet Command. He was about to beam to Voyager to pack his office when he heard movement next door and peeked through the connecting doors. To his surprise, he saw his captain struggling to remove the top box from the stack of five in front of her desk.

"Kathryn! Let me help you before you hurt yourself." He hurried to her side and caught the box just as it was about to land on her head.

"Thanks for the rescue. I only had five boxes, so why would they put them in one tall stack like that?"

Chakotay put the box on the floor and noticed the label on the bottom box. He continued to restack the boxes as he commented, "And they put the box marked 'coffee set' on the very bottom, as well."

"They obviously have their priorities wrong," she chuckled as she took the last box from him and placed it on her desk for immediate attention. "I think we'll be glad our offices are connected as we go through the debriefings."

"I think so, too." He watched her unwrap and examine each piece of the coffee service with care. "You could just replicate a new set instead of dragging this one around with you."

"It wouldn't be the same. I've never told you the story of this set, apparently."

"Not that I recall."

"It was a gift from Justin, my first fiancé. In fact, we had so little time together that it's the only present he ever gave me." She gazed lovingly at the apple-shaped pot. "I guess that sounds pretty corny."

"It's touching. I'm just amazed that you risk losing it or having it damaged by bringing it with you to deep space, that's all."

"It's been sort of a good luck charm." She took the pot to the replicator behind her desk to have it filled with hot coffee. "Have you unpacked your office yet?"

"I was thinking of doing that today, actually."

"Oh, that's right." She picked up a mug and poured them both a cup of coffee. "You were supposed to spend the weekend in Sweden with Seven's Aunt Irene. You're back early?"

"I thought it would be rude to stay on after Seven left."

"Uh-oh." Kathryn took a sip of the coffee and motioned him toward the sofa. "Come tell me what happened."

He sat down with a groan and rubbed his face. "Things weren't really very good from the first minute, but they went downhill at the dinner last night. They served us some special delicacy that makes gagh look good, if you can believe that."

"And we both know how Seven can be about food."

"Right. I mean, after all, food is just nutritional biomatter." They both laughed. "This stuff is called surstromming."

"It sounds bad already."

"It's fermented herring. But, Seven called it rotten fish."

Kathryn held up a hand to stop him. "Let me guess. It's Aunt Irene's pride and joy."

"Not quite. I guess they have a pretty good sense of humor about it."

"I've had herring, and I don't think fermenting would be an improvement." She laughed and studied the coffee inside of her cup. She was still coming to terms with the new relationship that had developed between her first officer and the Borg drone, and she didn't want to let Chakotay know how much it upset her to think of them as a couple. In fact, she was a little surprised at her reaction and embarrassed to admit to herself that she felt so jealous and distraught from simply thinking of them as being together. She dreaded how she might react when she saw them in person. "Were you able to defuse the situation before anyone's feelings were hurt?"

"It was really awkward, Kathryn." He put his empty cup on the side table and laced his fingers together. "Have you seen her since the initial reception?"

"I've been gone. I had those meetings in Paris with the Federation counsel right through Friday night."

"She's completely regressed to the negative, bossy, and arrogant person she was just after she left the collective."

"That has to be a temporary reaction to the changes she's facing."

"Maybe so, but her relatives don't know that. Before I could stop her, she'd gone off about the ridiculousness of human customs and the complete idiocy of serving 'rotten' food to guests. She ended her tirade by saying something about cultures with such primitive foodstuff being unworthy of assimilation." He shook his head in amazement.

"What did her relatives say at that?"

"They thought she was kidding, so, naturally, they laughed. Seven became so angry that I actually worried that she'd begin the genocide that very minute."

"Wow. And you were right in the middle of it."

"Not for long. Seven walked out of the dinner without so much as a goodbye, and I followed her as soon as I could. I'm afraid she refuses to listen to any advice I try to give her."

"She was upset, that's all. I'll talk to her and help her work through this. After all, I'm the one responsible for putting her in this awkward position to start with. You don't have to deal with this alone just because you're dating her."

"About the dating thing." He heaved a weary sigh. "We agreed last night that this is the worst possible time to start a relationship. Everything is changing, and we need to adjust separately to the demands being put on us."

"So you called things off?" She got up to fetch the coffee pot, using those few moments to gather her thoughts. "Are you upset about that?"

He followed her to her desk. "Not upset, really. I mean, we've only had four dates, so we've barely had time to get used to the idea."

"I didn't realize it was so new." She filled his cup and frowned at the empty pot, heading back for more at the replicator. "Maybe, with time, she'll come around."

"I really doubt that. I think we might have worked on Voyager where our options were so limited, but now? Things are too different."

She returned with the coffee and refilled her cup. "I'm sorry this has happened, Chakotay. I feel like the admiral ruined your chance for happiness."

"Don't feel sorry. It isn't your fault, I assure you, and I'm already over it. I doubt that Seven feels much differently." He picked up the empty box to set it on the floor only to hear something rattling inside. "Hey, you forgot to unpack something."

"Let me look." Kathryn reached into the packing papers she'd thrown back into the box and pulled out a small parcel that she quickly unwrapped. "I completely forgot that I'd put this in there."

"I remember that," Chakotay remarked when the black disc appeared. "The Kellarians, right?"

"Kellidians. The ones that kidnapped me and forced me to suffer through two days in a spa." She laughed and gave him a wink.

"It wasn't funny, you know. We had no idea whether you were dead or alive, and that prime minister of theirs . . . what was his name?"

"Arriestima."

"Whatever. He acted like we had no right to question them about what they'd done with our own captain! Tuvok wasn't the only one who wanted to punch a few noses." He picked up the now-empty box and tossed it toward the trash can in an uncharacteristic fit of anger.

Kathryn's eyebrow arched at his temper. "Feel better?"

"Not really." He felt himself blushing and pulled his ear in embarrassment. "We suffered agonies during your absence, while you were being pampered. Then you're the one given the gift to make up for our trouble."

"They spoil their leaders, I guess." She ran her fingers over the gleaming surface. "They call it a 'Heart's Truth.' Arriestima said it was designed just for me, a personal gift. Apparently, it's used as part of their courtship process."

"I remember. When we look in it, we can only see our eyes."

"That's right! You could see your eyes, but yesterday, when Phoebe looked in it, she couldn't see a thing. Strange, isn't it?" She looked down at the black surface and studied the reflection. "I can even see a faint glow in my eyes."

"That might be heat from the blood in the retina. Did they say how they use it?"

"He said the couple shares it with each other in order to test their love for each other, but he didn't say how it works. I thought it was probably just a superstition."

He set his mug on the desk and took the device from her. "I've learned never to underestimate alien technology, Kathryn." He looked into the surface and froze, his eyes widening with surprise. "This is odd. I'm not seeing my eyes this time. I see yours."

"You must be mistaken." She took the disc back from him. "Maybe after a certain period of time, the reflection of my eyes becomes permanent somehow." She gazed into the disc for a long time before she was able to tear her eyes away and look up at him. "I see your eyes, Chakotay."

He circled the desk for a closer look, reaching to take the device from her, but when both of them touched the small object, it underwent a dazzling transformation. The silver frame glowed with a bright white light that nearly blinded them, and then the black material released an intoxicating perfume that completely overwhelmed their senses and sent a surge of euphoria through their bodies.

They dropped the disc onto the desk and turned to each other in surprise. For the first time in all the years they'd been working together, the love they felt in their hearts was clearly visible in their faces, as if the disc had in some way made it impossible for them to hide the truth any longer.

Kathryn gasped and laid her hand on his chest. "Chakotay," she whispered, her eyes luminous with tears, "after all these years?"

He nodded, so overwhelmed with the love in her eyes that he was momentarily struck dumb. Finally, with a sigh, he said, "Always, Kathryn. I've always loved you. And you? You love me, too?"

"I love you, too. Always."

The simple truth of their sudden confession left them stunned. Kathryn leaned into him for balance, and he put his arms around her to keep her from toppling over. Yet they both experienced a sudden feeling of relief and pleasure as they acknowledged the unspoken, overpowering bond that they shared.

"I don't believe this is happening," he murmured into her hair. "I thought you didn't care."

"I cared too much, Chakotay. I couldn't be your lover and also be your captain, and I thought it was too late for things to be different between us. Seven years is a long time to deny the truth. I thought you'd moved on and that you'd just feel pity for me if I told you how I feel."

He looked down at her and then lifted her chin with his hand so that he could look deeper into her eyes and reaffirm the love he'd seen before. Their first kiss was deep, demanding, and joyous, but their desire for even more intimacy was interrupted by the sound of a message arriving on Kathryn's console.

They pulled apart quickly and smiled at how close they'd come to being caught in each other's arms.

"We could ignore it, but it's probably my sister, Phoebe. If I don't answer, she'll have security up here looking for me."

"That's fine," he laughed. "I think we need a little more privacy than this office affords us anyway."

"Let me get rid of her, and we'll walk to my quarters."

"That's a great idea."

While Kathryn was talking to her sister, Chakotay returned to the desk for his coffee cup, only to stop in his tracks in surprise. The "Heart's Truth" had undergone a miraculous transformation. The smooth black surface had vanished, replaced by an intricately woven pattern of hearts that seemed to be spun from silver spider webs, delicate yet unbreakable. He held it up to the light and admired the way the light sparkled through it.

"Where did that come from?" Kathryn asked as she turned from the computer screen.

"I think it's the 'Heart's Truth.'"

"You must be joking." She opened a desk drawer and rummaged around until she found a tricorder so she could quickly scan the glittering ornament. "It's the same mass, only it's completely different. Where did you find it?"

"It was right where we dropped the black disc."

She looked around on the desk. "And the disc is gone."

"Maybe it happened when we saw that flash of light."

"And there was also the flowery smell." She frowned, holding the item in the palm of her hand. "Do you think it created those feelings, Chakotay?"

"It didn't create my feelings. It just made it impossible for me not to tell you how I feel."

"Yeah. Me, too. I felt compelled to tell you, as if it were . . . a truth serum."

Chakotay took her hand. "We told each other our hearts' truth."

She seemed stunned at his words. "That's true. And the Kellidians did say that this was especially made for me. Maybe it was attuned to my biorhythms or something."

"Perhaps it was activated by the sparks between us."

Kathryn laughed. "Sparks?"

"Well, I know I feel something like an electric shock when you touch me." He gave her an exaggerated wink. "Maybe it's just static electricity?"

"That must be it," she grinned at him and then made a face. "You know, I'm not sure I'm happy about some alien black magic influencing my love life."

"Me, neither." He started for the door. "Let's just call it off."

"STOP!"

He turned to look at her, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Yes?"

"It would be a shame to waste a gift that was made especially for me, wouldn't it?" She walked toward him, dangling the beautiful, glittering ornament in front of her. She stopped so close to him that he could feel the heat of her body. When she looked up at him, he fell into her eyes. "I mean, it took both of us to make this happen."

"I always wondered what it would take for you to admit how you feel about me."

"Just an alien truth serum." She stepped closer and rested her head on his chest. "And it is the truth, Chakotay. I love you."

"Who am I to question fate?" He put his arms around her with a sigh of contentment. "By the way, did you manage to ditch Phoebe?"

"I did. I told her that something just came up."

He chuckled, pressing her body against his as he leaned down to kiss her. "Well, what do you know? You're still telling the truth."

The end


End file.
